Valentine’s Day. Just reading that, what feelings stir up inside you? Feelings of romanticism? Grief? Excitement? LOVE? Dread? Lol. For every person, it’s something different, but as the years have gone on, it seems like the majority of people I encounter somewhat despise V-Day. Maybe because it’s an excuse for card companies, restaurants and corporations to capitalize on how to make more money by pulling on your heart-strings. But isn’t that what happens every holiday?
For me, it’s been a rare occasion that I’ve had a Valentine. Yes, I’ve had flowers delivered to my workplace and home by a friend, boyfriend or secret admirer and I’ve even had cards sent to me, but the stuff I’ve dreamed of; a romantic dinner by candlelight, followed by a romantic undressing of clothes and a hot and steamy night of passionate sex, has never happened. I would imagine every year that the condom companies must be selling out in anticipation of all the sex that would be had on Valentine’s night. (Seriously.)
The sad thing about having these dreams not come true is that I made it mean something about myself. That I’m unlovable, unworthy, unattractive, not good enough, etc. And so every year that I didn’t have a specific man to shower me with attention and love on this particular day, I’d go into a depression. Not a deep one, just a sad and pathetic one. LOL. And then I began to dread this particular day every year, wishing for it to be over with before it even began!
Not this year though! :)
With all the moving and classes and experiences I’ve had this year and last, I can say I feel I’ve finally come into my own! I’m accepting myself just as I am, and just as I’m not. (I’ve heard some rumors that this is what your 40’s is about, lol, and I’ve hit the mark early! Hehe!) What this means really, is I LOVE myself, just as I am, and just as I am not. I am my own Valentine, whether I have one or not! And Valentine’s Day this year doesn’t mean a thing to me! It’s just another day to celebrate and love myself, as I’m able to do every day!
Now that I’m able to see this about myself, I can see why so many people dislike this day. There’s so much PRESSURE! Oy vey! For women who do not have a Valentine, some interpret that as though they are not good enough, hence the tribal gathering of women celebrating themselves in spite of not having Valentines. Then there are women who buy themselves chocolates and send themselves flowers to say, “To heck with you Valentine’s Day! I can be my OWN Valentine!” And there are men who loathe this day because if you are in a relationship, you ought to be on top of your game on this day or your partner will think you don’t love him/her. What’s worse is that everybody has their ‘ideal Valentine’s Day’ scenario and if their partner fails just a wee bit, the whole day can go to pieces, and maybe even the relationship. A man can show his partner that he loves and can love his partner every day, but sadly we’ve placed so much importance on Valentine’s Day and what it means, based on commercials and movies, that you’re kinda screwed either way! (No pun intended.)
So, what I hope you get from reading this is that you are lovable, you are enough, you are desirable, and you are LOVED whether it’s February 14th or June 24th. One day out of the year should not determine your worth. And please do not let the media make you believe otherwise. Go inside, listen to yourself, trust yourself.
And if you have a Valentine and you’ve always had a Valentine, what I want to know is, do you show yourself and your partner that amount of love everyday, or just that one day of the year?
You can create whatever you want for yourself! Your cup of love can runneth over, if you want it to! :)
Dream of loving YOURSELF every day, dream of having love in your life every day, dream that love surrounds you all the time and so it shall be! :)
‘Til next time, thanks for reading & Happy Dreaming! :)